Visit To Sabarimala

(Wrote in 2006 – Idea seeded by a friend)

Anil was a manual worker. He was working in Bombay for a construction company. He was into his early 40’s. He had a rough life. Working as a manual worker is not easily. You have to sometimes carry whole loads of cement or bricks or had to carry out tasks that squeeze down calories under the scorching sun. He also had a family which consisted of his wife and a daughter.

It was six months since he had met up his family. He intended to go and meet them. But this time it was different. He was HIV positive. He had come to know about this a month ago. He didn’t know how it had happened. He used to have relationships with many other female workers. “It is not news to have sex with other woman especially when he met his family only twice a year” he used to say to himself after he had done it. He would then light a beedi and remain awake for hours in night.

This time it was different. He was carrying an infectious virus in his body. He could not tell his wife he was infected – had been had other women in his life. What if she asks for sex? He was afraid. He had never used condoms while performing with her. If he used it then he doubted whether she would be suspicious.

The general compartment was hot and carried many more passengers than it could hold. It was in the train journey back home that an idea struck him – “What if he visits Sabarimala”. He had around a month of leave. He could tell he was observing austerities and was in middle of it. “He could also get some grace from God” he thought

Kerala is a land of temples and one of the best places for pilgrimage was Sabarimala, high up in the Sahyadri Mountains (Western Ghats). There one could visit Lord Ayyappa. It is believed that “Parasurama Maharshi” who retrieved Kerala from the sea by throwing his axe, installed the idol of Ayyappa at Sabarimala to worship Lord Ayyappa

Pilgrimage starts from November and ends in January. Certain customs are to be strictly observed if one has to undertake a pilgrimage to Sabarimala. A pilgrim attending the Mandalapooja should observe austerities for 41 days. During this period, the pilgrim should abstain himself from non- vegetarian habits and cardinal pleasures.

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It was on a Saturday that he reached Thrissur, his home place. There he caught the bus and reached home. His wife was waiting for him – bathed and with jasmine flowers encircling the ball of hair. She had cleaned the whole house and had made it look like new. The daughter who was ten was waiting eagerly for her father and the gift he would bring. He had brought two pairs of new dresses for his daughter.

“How was the trip” his wife Lakshmi asked.
“The trip was extremely tiresome” he replied without much hesitation
“Why so much beard. You haven’t shaved for many days”
“No, I intend to go to Sabarimalla for visiting Lord Ayyappa.” he responded unknowingly passing his fingers over his unshaven face
“Oh, that’s good” she replied. “So, you must be observing austerities I suppose” she replied a bit disappointed.

She had waited for him to arrive and had cooked non-vegetarian food to celebrate his arrival. Also, that meant no sex, not that she was very much interested in it.
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It was almost 20 days since he was observing austerities. He was shocked to hear the news. Her daughter met an accident. The school bus she was traveling on had hit another private bus. The casualties were high. The passengers were rushed to the hospital. His child was critical and needed blood. He was shell shocked. His daughter had a rare blood group and he was carrying it.

“Anil, they want your blood” Lakshmi spoke
“Our child is critical”
“Why don’t you speak anything?”

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How can he tell his wife that he was HIV positive, he was unfaithful to her? Also, what reason can he give to tell her their child could not have his blood? He stood there helpless